Somehow over the past few days I’ve become mentally overwhelmed. I haven’t felt stressed in a long time but for some reason things have been getting to me and I feel exhausted. My job is stressing me out but only because I want to find a new job. Relying on a commission check is just not how I want to live anymore, considering one month I can have a $500 commission then the next month have a $50 commission. It’s impossible to survive off a shitty hourly rate with a shitty commission check. The drama at work here may be just as bad as at the salon. You’d think working with mostly men would create a drama-free environment, however some men have worse pms than women. I just want to do my job and be able to converse with people without sitting at a desk all day on the telephone. Every day I struggle to keep my eyes open because my job puts me to sleep. yesterday I let myself take my frustration out on people,instead of just trying to tackle the issues within, which is not okay. But I guess no one is perfect and it happens sometimes. I just wish it didn’t.

People make me mad sometimes. That is all.

Or is it?

I try to be patient and nice to everyone equally, but when someone does not give me the same courtesy back then I get really frustrated and although I may still seem calm and choose to ignore it, it bothers me tremendously inside. This is in so many aspect of life in general. If there’s anything people need more of, it’s patience (in my opinion). Patience is key.

random- i wish my body wasnt hurting so bad right now! i dont know if I believe or care what anyone says or thinks i have (or if i even have anything, for that matter) i really dont (doctors diagnosis included). i just want some pain relief right now. feels like my back was hit by a truck lol

a massage from a certain boy would suffice.

on a lighter note, it was absolutely beautiful out this afternoon :)